11.14.2005

The question is why

You read enough blogs, and you start sorting them into categories. You have politics, humor, social outlets, self-aggrandizement, the "I really want to be a writer blog," etc. etc. etc. For me the most interesting is the "this is my therapy blog." Most of the time, they cut through the bullshit.

That's one reason why I really like Lola's blog. I'm not sure if she's 'out' in her private life or not, but she's certainly unfiltered. Two of her latest posts (here and here) really illustrate that. Turns out she was adopted by her grandparents, and grew up thinking her mom was her sister. She didn't find out till she was 12. Obviously, that creates issues. At least at the end of the day she knew she was loved and that she had people looking out for her.

As an adoptive parent myself, the story resonated with me. Not that it was necessary, but it validated the way we're treating the situation with BigBrother. Open. Honest. He already knows he was adopted even if he doesn't understand it.

Adoption is a funny thing. Going through the adoptive process forces a great deal of exposure. Not only are you forced to expose yourself to the process, but your circle of friends and family are exposed too.

Most of the time it's for the better. We got a lot of support through the whole process, sometimes from unexpected places. Sometimes there is just a reminder that to some people, BigBrother will always be 'the adopted one' and not just BigBrother.

That's not necessarily a bad thing. We waited a long time for BigBrother. We fought hard for him. Until we got him, I didn't believe in fate. And every time he smiles, or says "I missed you Daddy" or "you're the best Daddy ever ever ever" or even "where's Mommy" every single time I get him when he wakes up, I can't help but believing in it.

When I look back at all the seemingly random happenings in my life that led me here, I'm very grateful. Grateful to my parents. Grateful for making some good decisions (like locking up DearWife). And grateful to the process that led us to BigBrother, and ultimately then to LittleBrother.

I'm not sure we'd have LittleBrother without BigBrother. They are both such great kids. They've turned me into a walking cliche, and I couldn't be happier about it. They are the why of everything...

3 comments:

Muskyboy said...

Then they become teenagers and turn into the Devil....but they are always your Devil!!!!

Dear Wife said...

The insight and love displayed in this post is one of millions of reasons I am glad you locked me up (figuratively, of course). I love you and I love our boys!

Muskyboy said...

Khyle, come back to the MPT.......it's not the same without you!!!!