This is going to be sappy 'my kids are great' post, you have been warned. I apologize for the sappiness in advance.
Last night, Dear Wife went to the work-out club place. I don't know what they're called, because I have no interest in them, and I've never set foot in one. Anyway, she takes a class known as "Body Pump." Sounds a little sexual doesn't it? Maybe I just have a dirty mind.
Anyway. I'm alone with BigBrother and LittleBrother for a couple hours. DW left to the garage, and luckily, LB didn't notice she was gone. But, when DW came back for her card to the club, he realized that she was completely abandoning him, and he would never ever see her again. He was despondent. For 3 minutes. Then he went about playing with the train, and all was well in the world.
We migrated to the front of the house by the Christmas tree. They started taking ornaments off the tree. LB would hand them to me, showing them off, as if to say "so pretty!." BB piled them in the corner. At some point, both boys became fascinated by shoes. BB took out DW's high heels, and LB took my ginormous shoes. BB went back to Christmas Tree un-decorating, while LB tried to move with his tiny feet in my giant shoes.
BB took a break from decorating to tell me that "I am walking to body-pump. It's a loong way. I need to exercise." LB laid his head on the ground and smiled (this is generally followed by a awwww sooo cute from the parents) then handed me my own shoes so I could assist him in putting them on again.
At some point, "Up on the housetop" started playing on the stereo. DW has XMas music on 24x7, so it was bound to happen. This song happens to be BB's favorite song, so he walks around the house waving his hands, directing the orchestra, and singing along. LB follows him all around the house, waving his hands too.
After the song was over, BB informed me that "I am decorating the corner. It is very beautiful. I like decorating." While he had me distracted, seeing him as a younger version of Doug Wilson, I noticed the dog knocking off a pillow from the couch.
I started to get the ornaments back together, when I noticed the dog fornicating with said pillow. That dog has no shame. Before I could react, LB went to pillow, scaring off the humping dog. He laid his head on the pillow before I could stop him. He was nowhere near the area where the dog was doing his business, and there was only contact for a second. But still.
I then make the decision that it's time for a bath. We head up to DW's and my bedroom to gather supplies. BB opens a closet and sees a bra. He tries it on. Over and over. "I wear this to exercise! I wear this to run!" He says it with a huge grin.
We make it to the bath room where BB takes off his pants and socks by himself for the first time, and miraculously get out of the bath without incident. I dress LB, and decide to take BB to a bedroom to get him ready, so we're not so cramped. I wrap him in a towel, and say "go to the bedroom."
"In this dress?"
"Yes, BB, in that dress."
Once in the bedroom he sheds his towel dress, jumps on the bed and shouts "I am going to jump around naked." And he does.
LB 'jumps' too, although he mainly ends up just falling on his bottom.
At this point, DW comes back. "How was it with the boys?"
"Just like every other time you go to body pump honey."