There are times in a life that you dread a certain event so much, that the dread outweighs the actual event. The bully challenges you to a fight after school. You stare at the clock all the way through math and English praying for the clock to tick slower. And then when you show up, he’s not there. Then there are times like when I worked up the nerve to ask out Gennie Challand on a date in the 9th grade. I was all hormones and geekiness. It took a lot of nerve and overcoming of fear for me to ask her out. She said “No, I want to protect our friendship.” We weren’t friends.
Seeing “Brokeback Mountain” was a lot more like the latter than the former. I was physically ill going in, so that wasn’t a good start. I’m too old to play poker till 4am I guess. Lesson learned.
I should warn you that there will be minor spoilers ahead.There were three things that were positive about the movie. Heath Ledger, I think did a great understated job of acting. And Anne Hathaway and Michelle Williams were naked in love scenes. That’s it.Besides the ‘gay cowboy’ angle, the movie was bad on a few different levels. Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger are completely unbelievable as 40 year olds. The Ledger character was having drinks with his 22year old daughter. If you just looked at the screen, you’d think it was his sister. So much for suspension of disbelief.And Jake Gyllenhaal’s moustache was incredibly awful. I was like they shaved off Ron Jeremy’s moustache and put it on him. 70’s porn moustache to be sure. Or…so I’ve heard….
Anne Hathaway’s acting was just plain bad. And her hair was worse, which is saying something.
More than half the movie is pointless yet beautiful cinematography. If I needed pointless cinematography, I’d watch the National Geographic Channel. It would have been less awful if I could get out of this in 90 minutes instead of 135. For Christ sakes it’s based on a short story.
Finally, there’s the whole thing that gets to the heart of why women love this shit. DearWife focused on how hard it was for them to be in love. How many obstacles there were. How hard it must have been for them. How sad it was.I focused on how many people they hurt because they couldn’t control their actions. Hey, I’m not saying that their lives were easy. Particularly being gay in that environment. But that doesn’t mean you have to hurt everyone around you too does it? DearWife can easily separate that from the rest of the story, and for me that IS the story.