Me the social butterfly

I will let you in on a secret. I'm generally not good socially.

Now the following story will make perfect sense. Last week, I got off the train and started heading for work. A couple blocks away, I recognized a young woman that gets on the train at my station. It was odd, because with the regularity of the train, you usually see the same people at the same time.

She was right ahead of me. She stopped at the same intersections that I did. She made the same turns that I did. My internal dialogue went something like this:

That's odd, I don't remember seeing her on this street.
Wow, this is bizarre, she's going right toward my office.
Oh man, she's actually going into my office.
Should I say something? Christ, she probably thinks I'm a stalker. She's probably scared of me at this moment.
AND OF COURSE she's going to my elevator bank. Should I wait? No, that would be too weird.
Don't make eye contact, don't make eye contact.
Maybe I should just say hi.

Thankfully, the elevator ride was short. I got off on the first stop, and went about my day. Today, after I finished watching "The Magnificent Seven," I packed up and went down to the boarding area on the train. This same woman was there.

Now, at this point, I was fully caffeinated and in a much better mood (coming home from work as opposed to going to it). Before I could say hello, my internal dialogue started again.

Wait, is this too late? Is this like saying hello the second time you see someone in the morning? Jesus, that's a bad metaphor, it doesn't even make sense. I should probably say something so she knows I'm not some stalker or something.

By then the train stopped and the doors opened. I got off, and got in my car. Now, if I know people, I can be amusing, funny even. But if I don't know people, I generally stay to myself. The perfect example? Dear Wife and I were at Home Depot - which to me is like sun to a vampire. DW starts talking to this guy at the paint stand. Kids, paint, painting techniques. I was pissed enough to have to spend time with my skin burning off, and now DW is having a conversation with this guy she knows and she can't even introduce me.

We left and I said "Where did you know that guy from and why didn't you introduce me?"

"I didn't know him before."


metrachick said...

Dude! I totally recognized you too! Hello. Next time, mute the internal dialogue and just say "hi!"

Muskyboy said...

Khyle, let's face it....you are an IT dork which is worse than an accountant and almost on par with an Actuary. You have no social skills and in general should not be allowed out in public on a consistant basis anyway.

Khyle said...

This is me not arguing with Muskyboy.

Muskyboy said...

Because you know I'm right, you can admit it. Come on, you can do it.

Khyle said...

Technically, it's geek, not dork. Actuaries are just accountants who are in touch with and can accept their inner math geek.

Muskyboy said...

Geek / Dork whatever. Being that you are related to a can't play it coach it accounting type I would have thought you would know the difference.

Kel said...

I am SO NOT admitting I am online on a Friday night with you two!

Woodchuck said...

Well being a math Geek/Dork you should understand that humor is based on volume....throw out a ton of crap and see what sticks....by the time I get done with all of the internal dialogue I'm already to far into the conversation to back out now.....The worst that can happen is she gets a restraining order...

Muskyboy said...

Sad isn't it?

Kel said...

{shaking head}