Let's just get this straight. CSI: Miami started over the shark. Fonzi had already landed when Horatio Caine first showed up. So last nights episode, the first part of the season finale is no shocker. Do you remember when Arnold and Clint and those guys had those one-liners in the 80's action movies? At first it was cool. "I'll be back." "Make my day." They were only cool for 10 minutes, and then it was Arnold throwing a steam pipe through the bad guy saying "let some steam off."
In one scene, Horatio, our hero, is riding in the ambulance with his new bride. She has just been shot through the stomach, and is bleeding profusely. Breathlessly, she says "Don't leave me."
"Never." Horatio says in his pseudo-comforting staccato rhythm. Literally 15 seconds later, the ambulance is stopped by a limo and Horatio says "take over back here, I'm getting out."
In an action scene to rival the hilarity "Commando," Horatio kills a couple bad guys without moving, and without getting injured while shooting through thick smoke as his wife drives off in the ambulance.
DearWife looks at me and says "Let's not pretend this wasn't written by monkeys....with feces."