He's wearing a bright red LL Bean Elmer Fudd style hunting cap that is about two sizes two small for his over-sized head. He takes the hat and LL Bean Winter coat off, and sits down. It's only now that I see the bluetooth headset. At that moment, I'm pissed.
He opens his Brookstone laptop backpack and takes out his blackberry and a notepad. He proceeds to take notes inbetween stealing glances at my newspaper. It finally comes.
"Hey, what's up? You on the train? Which Train? Yeah, me too. The 7 o clock. What's with this BG&H meeting today at 4:30? Yeah, right, but what are we hoping to accomplish. "
I don't care about his meeting, I don't care about BG&H. And what kind of a dick has a 4:30 meeting on Friday anyway? And now he's talking to another ass on an entirely different train. That whole discussion took about 5 minutes. And I had forgotten my 80's music filled MP3 player at work. I was stuck. Finally I hear "is that all?"
He was just tricking me, giving me false hope that his evil phone conversation was about to end. The discussion turned to 'the markets.' "They're quiet today....right, but that's just one stock.... Well, Google is pretty volatile anyway.....no, you see the NASDAQ 100 is only 100 stocks, the &P 500 is 500 stocks. So Google wouldn't have that much effect on the S&P."
Now he's doing basic math with a fellow financier. By the end of the discussion, I take out my ginormous laptop. He basically stares at it for a few minutes. Then he opens his LL Bean laptop backpack and takes out his. At first, I thought this was some kind of silent pissing match developing between us. - one that he couldn't possibly win. Then I see his laptop, and it's just a normal laptop.
He puts it on his lap. And proceeds to use it a table so he can write notes a little more clearly. I got up and screamed at him. "Don't you have notepad on that thing? It's not a goddam table. If you can't use technology except to annoy people, you shouldn't have it." I then opened my emergency window on the train and threw it out.
Maybe I didn't.